Tag: success

How to become better

Often times people quit doing things because they aren’t seeing the results they wanted. I see this all the time with people who commit to losing weight, working harder, or just trying to motivate themselves to do better. I would say 90% people quit, its because they et unrealistic goals and get upset when they haven’t achieved them. This mindset results in failure because people put unrealistic demands on themselves.

My advice is to judge success based on progress not goals. Think in the mindset of “I’m in the process of getting to where I want to be.” rather than “I’m not where I thought I’d be.” The difference doesn’t sound like much, but these two measurements can be the difference between success and failure. A true measure of success is working to become better and better. The most successful people didn’t stop when they got to where they wanted. They kept pushing to keep on the road to success.

In order to achieve, we must recognize that striving to improve and working harder each day is just as important as the results you wish to attain. In any/ all aspects of life, consistency is the key to success. Don’t stop after hitting your goal, make a new one that makes you even better than before.

I can use my last post about health as an example. I used to be overweight and unhealthy as a child. I recognized that i wasn’t healthy and fixed the problem. As a result, I feel better and have more energy. I achieved the goal I set out to accomplish. BUT, I didn’t stop there. I work actively everyday to make sure I continue to live health consciously. I try to learn more about nutrition to make my diet more beneficial for my body and my workouts more effective. Sure, I could have quit while I was ahead but then I would have stoped growing. I would have been better off than where I started but not actively growing.

In short, measure your success by the path you are on not the results that you have/ don’t have. Success isn’t a one time thing like many of us think. It is a process of growing and becoming better and better. Don’t give up because you don’t think you are getting results. Failing while trying to succeed is growing. Failing because you gave up is quitting.

Be respectful

Three evenings a week, I work as a “Lehigh Liner” as a part time job. Basically a liner is a telemarketer but instead of trying to sell stuff over the phone, we ask for donations to Lehigh and various organizations existing at Lehigh. We focus our efforts on alumni and parents of students. Most nights, I am lucky to have three or four worthwhile conversations, the rest are no answers, not available, or hang up before we have time to talk.

As a student, I enjoy calling alumni because I like to hear what kind of success people have gotten after attending Lehigh and any stories/ advice they have about Lehigh. Unfortunately, oftentimes people are incredibly rude over the phone and really make us feel bad for calling them. I understand that some people have no desire to donate to Lehigh (which is fine), but I still appreciate a good conversation or politeness when declining to speak with me.

Because I now make calls to strangers, I have a newfound respect for others that do it as well. Rather than being rude to them, I will now politely decline their offer or at least listen to what they have to say. I think it is important we all try to do this. It’s important to understand people make these calls because it is their job. They aren’t doing it because they want to annoy you and waste time. Making phone calls is a job for a lot of people and we should try and respect that they are working hard and working legally to make money. So instead of being rude to them, just let them say their spiel and be respectful.

Write good reviews!

Too often I see people write negative reviews of companies on yelp and social networking sights. I  think its fine to express a negative experience you had at a business and make it known you were unhappy. With that being said, it is just as important to write positive reviews that applaud companies for doing things right.

It is so easy to have a nice experience and not write about it because it has no emotional connection. It experience that angers you will drive you to express those negative feelings. We should try to express our positive experiences just as often. Many small businesses struggle to make a profit and can’t make themselves known to a large population. By writing nice reviews, we can help these businesses gain footing and advance.

I challenge you to right a nice review any time you have a pleasant experience with a company. It will make you feel good as well as give the business a positive advertising. By writing nice reviews, we can encourage businesses to focus on customer service and customer experience rather than just on profit. If a company knows that you will praise them for a good experience, they will do whatever they can to ensure you have that positive interaction.

Society often gets caught up in the bad parts of life, we need to shift or attention to the good moments. By rewarding these good experiences we can make more of them happen.

Why I don’t do drugs…

As an 18 year old at a party school like Lehigh University, i would be in the majority in I went to frat parties 4 times a week and came home drunk at 2 am on the weekends. Vomiting in toilets and waking up with a hangover is the norm on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. Most students at Lehigh participate in these activities and are proud of Lehigh’s reputation as a party school.

I am not sure why but i guess I skipped the age where i desire to get “fucked up” and wake up sick with a lack of memory of anything that happened in the last 10 hours. I feel and act way more mature than my age, I love routine and look forward to the simple enjoyments in my life. I don’t know if it is good or bad that I skipped this age of experimenting with drugs. I have no desire to do any of this but I feel my reasoning is pretty valid.

First and foremost; the cost. Alcohol and weed are expensive items that can really put a dent in your bank account. I don’t think i need to be under the influence to have fun or enjoy myself. Why would I spend money on thee items when all they do is cause bad decisions/ lack of productivity. I would rather pay for things that benefit me rather than harm me.

Next, my health is important priority in my life. I enjoy working out and eating healthy. The effects of drugs and alcohol are not good for the body. I don’t feel the need/ desire to put things in my body that are detrimental to my health. I give a lot of hard work and effort to stay in good shape and would hate to negate the benefits of good health with drugs.

Going off of that point, my family has a long history of alcohol/ drug abuse. As recently as my grandparents and all the way back to generations before that. my relatives have ruined their lives by getting too reliant on these substances. I have also seen two of my best friends have their families crumble due to a parent that abuses drugs. I have witnessed drugs destroy families and know that my family has a history of addiction. These two things really reinforce my decision not to use substances.

I listed out a number of reasons why I don’t use these items and can’t think of a single good reason why I should. Honestly I don’t think it really effects my relationships all that much. The most i have been pressured to drink is by my father who says. “It is good to go out every once in a while and have a beer with your buddies.” I really don’t think any one else cares about my choice to stay sober or cares if I don’t have a beer when we go out.

Really I have no desire to use either right now. Who knows, maybe I will change my mind in the future. Only time will tell. As f now, I’m happy with my choices and don’t see anything wrong with them .

Are you listening?

Is listening the same thing as hearing? When we engage in conversation with someone else, we can either hear the words they are say or we can listen to what they have to say. At the surface, hearing and listening seem like interchangeable terms. One cannot go with out the other yet somehow, listening is so much more useful than hearing.

When you hear someone, you are simply sensing that they are saying something. Hearing is possible without really knowing what a person is saying. When this occurs, you really don’t gain anything from the experience. Hearing is something we are born with the ability to do.

Listening, is a much deeper experience. When listening to someone, our minds are engaged in the interaction. We hear them but listening takes it a step further. We hear with an intent to understand and engage is meaningful dialogue. Listening is a valuable skill that is often overlooked. Many people lack the ability to listen because they think what they have to say is more important.

Real listening results in all parties being left better off. They exchange information, and learn from each other. In many conversations, I often observe that one or both parties are not listening to each other. Every one just wants to state his or her own point without scaring about the others. People are so involved in their own conversation, they forget other people may have things to say that are just as important.

It really makes a difference when we choose to listen rather than hear. In my college lectures its important i listen to my professors so I understand the material rather than just hear what they are saying. In life this skill is just as (if not more) just a valuable as it is for college. We cannot expect to learn and grow as a community if we aren’t willing to listen to each other and have meaningful conversations.

Technology

I remember when I lived at home, I would always get frustrated with my parents for not being able to operate technology. Helping them with their smartphones, televisions and computers always tested my patience. I couldn’t understand how a human being could be so inept to use a piece of equipment.

I still really don’t understand why they desire to own powerful smartphones and devices when they don’t use features that consume this power. With that being said, it’s their money and they can spend it how they choose. Recently though, I learned to let go of this anger when helping them navigate technology.

A documentary about digital media used this quote and it really spoke to me.

“Adults are immigrants to the world of technology; we grew up in it.”

This one sentence changed my entire view of why parents can’t seem to understand technology like younger genrations do. The comparison of technology to immigrants really made sense and caused the whole concept to click.

The majority of people who move to a new country as an adult, often retain their accent and culture beliefs from their country. Children, on-the-other-hand, adapt and learn the ways of a new country quickly and transition to the new environment easily. If you think about it, people with accents speak the same english that we speak, but they may take longer to get their point across.

Because my generation grew up with technology, we adapted and let is shape our brains to use it to the full extent. Adults still have a large sense of the world before technology. They speak the digital language, but it make take them longer to find the point.

Children’s brains are growing and learning at a much faster pace than that of an adult. They are able to learn new things quickly. Because technology was available at a young age, we learned it quickly and incorporated it into our knowledge. This is completely different than how adults with fully formed brains were introduced to technology.

Now whenever my parents have issues operating their devices and call me for tech support. I’ll just think about myself trying to communicate with people in Spain. In both cases, we can speak the language, but it takes longer to process it and figure out what it means. So your welcome Mom and Dad. I get it now and will be willing to help you with any technological concerns you may have.

My hatred for “Ice-breakers”

So today I had to particpate in a  mandatory “ropes course” as a part of my Lehigh freshman experience program. I use quotations because there was actually no ropes course involved due to thunderstorm warnings and the event consisted of name-games and ice-breakers instead. All-in-all the event was not a bad experience but… if it was by choice and not required, I wouldn’t have gone been just as happy. My time could have been better used doing homework or productive activities rather than team-building with people I may or may not see again.

I don’t have an issue with ice-breakers themselves, I have a big issue with the number we have had to do in the last month since I arrived at Lehigh.

I have complied this list of all the mandatory ice-breakers I have been forced into…

  1. Orientation week (5 days of nothing but these activities)
  2. House wars (mandatory games with other people in my residence hall)
  3. Off-the-hook (required sex-ed course/ activities)
  4. Residence hall game night (see #2)
  5. TRAC meetings (mandatory group meeting with students in the same field of student as me)
  6. Hawk mentor meeting (I can’t tell the difference between these and TRAC meetings, yet they both exist)
  7. Lehigh Ropes course (a month after orientation, this happens)
  8. There is more upcoming in the semester… (exciting!!!!!!)

I completely understand the goal of getting students acclimated to school and making friends. After all, it is a huge transition from living at home to being on your own at a University. The types of activities we are forced to partake in don’t help this transition at all. All the friends I have made have been through unplanned interactions.

The point I am trying to make is that given the chance, students will learn and transition to school on their own. Humans are adaptable creatures and we change based on our environment in order to thrive. All these ice-breaker activities do is turn off students because they don’t want to participate in stupid name games. Letting them socialize on their own and make their own friends is a lot more exciting.

I am fine with a day or two of these activities just so we have some familiar faces around campus and maybe make a friend, but going overboard on them is not the way to engage students and has the opposite effect.

Ice breakers and name-games exist as a form of group bonding. Like anything, when overused, it has a negative effect. The activities are a turn-off for most students and I wish the school would realize we dot need all this hand-holding in order to succeed in college.